I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I can't turn off my feet"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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