Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
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