New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
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my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
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hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
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