Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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