she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize