Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Randomize