Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize