I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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