if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize