Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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