I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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