Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
She's the barista slut.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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