just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize