Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize