mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize