Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Randomize