i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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