oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize