I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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