I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
so let's talk penis.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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