You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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