: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize