i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize