I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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