you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
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