I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize