smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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