You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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