i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
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