I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize