he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize