Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
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While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
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Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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