small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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