Sry I called you an 8
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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