Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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