Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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