Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I just blew my weed a kiss
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize