i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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