I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize