you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize