he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
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Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
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I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize