Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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