I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I lost the right to judge tonight
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize