Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
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Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
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I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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