i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
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