and my herpes radar will keep us safe
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
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Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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