she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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