Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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