I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize