You're my little dorito
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize