is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
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"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
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but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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