Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
pop tarts are not kleenex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize